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There are a lot of Songs out there about Costa Rica so with the help of our readership we narrowed in down to the Top 5 English Language Songs about Costa Rica and assessed them for accuracy. They aren’t all good but they are all about Costa Rica.
By P. Porte
#5 Costa Rica song by 92 Proof
To be honest this song shouldn’t be on any list due to it’s poor execution, terrible sound quality and offensive lyrics. As a matter-of-fact if you are easily offended you may want to skip to number four, if you already hit play and already had your ears assaulted before reading this warning I do apologize and at this point you might as well keep reading.
Going down to costa rica
Plan to meet pretty chica (That’s the spirit pardner)
And I must say
Im happy today (Great attitude, loving this song so far)
Some people mate for life
I can live without a wife (Maybe you just haven’t met the right gal fella)
I wont have it any other way
For now id rather pay (That’s what Charlie Sheen used to say, now he’s spending all his Two and a half men money on Reverse transcriptase (RT) inhibitors. Tiger Blood is contagious so you guys might want to get yourself checked. Not Winning, not winning!)
As much as guys like this will tell you otherwise, there is nothing glorious about paying for sex (see Charlie Sheen reference above) and the local government is not big fan’s of those who would promote the sex trade industry in Costa Rica. One would have to wonder if the guys who own this Youtube Channel are familiar with the case of Cuba Dave who has been sitting in preventative prison for a year now for promoting Costa Rica as a Sex Tourism Destination?
#4 Costa Rica by Uno X Billionaire Black
This song is by far the least favorite song on the list but at least it doesn’t sound like it was recorded in a bathroom of a back alley cat house like the previous entry. This is the only Hip-Hop entry on the list and as of right now has received over three million views on YouTube.
I’m fresh from Costa Rica
I’ve been joggin and fitnessing all season (fitness first, I like that bro)
I’m getting closer to the weekend
Call my plug, he Puerto Rican, ship the keys in (Well there goes the neighborhood)
These hoes see me and say “WOW!” like they seen Jesus
Bitch actin’ up, butthead like Beavis (Not sure what this means but we love B&BH)
Uno man army, you don’t need to vouch for me
We aren’t talkin vegetables unless it’s broccoli (We know that you are health conscious Dawg and we respect that but WTF are you talking about?)
Unfortunately any respect this song may have earned with its audio quality it quickly loses it all back due to it’s terrible lyrics, over use of Auto-tune and twenty-five year old pop culture references that no one who would bother listening to this modern garbage would even get. Ticos love it because it sounds hip and mentions Costa Rica, their parents hate it because it sounds like crap and promotes criminal activity.
#3 Costa Rica by Jakob Dylan
Although some accuse Jakob Dylan’s song “Costa Rica” of painting Ticos as lazy drunks with nothing better to do than lounge around on the beach and inbibe liquour but we don’t see it that way at all. Costa Rica tells the story of two lovers traveling to the exotic Central American nation trying to escape the pressure of everyday life. As they sit on the beach drinking till the early hours of the following day they contemplate leaving behind the daily grind back home and finish out their days living like they assume everyone does here, hanging out on the beach and drinking till they pass out in a hammock.
Lay your worries
Down at your door (sure we are on vacation why not?)
Now my loves
Like an open shore (kinda sappy but whatever, come over here you big lug)
Now Costa Rica
We got nothing better to do (some of us have to work Jakob)
When the nights hang dark
And the Sun wont burn (No but the mosquitoes will bite you and you may get mugged. Ever hear of Zika Jakob?)
Unlike so many similar stories we never get to find out if the two lovers decided to roll the dice and try their luck at the Expat Life Style in Costa Rica. If they did we can only assume it ended like it does for so many with them getting their asses handed to them due to lack of research and absolutely zero grasp of the Spanish language.
#2 Costa Rica by Vince Vaccaro
We absolutely love this song by Vince Vaccaro. Great sound quality and a very catchy guitar riff and vocal melody make it the most pleasurable on the list to listen to and probably the only one we can imagine being worth putting in the permanent rotation in our Ipod had it not been stolen out of our checked bag last time we flew to Liberia.
I wanna leave this place yeah to never be found
I wanna leave my old life far behind (Been there done that. Definitely doable here bro)
Can I lose my name, be someone new
And I’ll throw my trouble deep in the wild blue (Ok, now it’s starting to sound like you are hiding something)
Lets leave to me and you babe
Lets go to Costa Rica (Bad Grammar)
Lets leave to me and you babe
Lets go to Costa Rica (Definitely not a good enough line to repeat)
At this point we are not even sure if Vince ever made it to Costa Rica let alone moved here permanently. We can only hope he didn’t lose his name before he caught his exit flight.
#1 Living on Tico Time by Ben Jammin
We couldn’t help but feel Ben nailed it with the lyrics on this one, even if they are a bit exaggerated the feeling is there and sang with the conviction of someone who has some experience waiting for ICE to show up to install his internet.
Although possibly one of the lesser-known acts on this list internationally speaking, Ben Jammin has long provided entertainment to both tourist and locals in the Jaco and Quepos areas. Although there is no good footage of Ben performing this number there is a high quality audio clip that you can listen to HERE
Living on Tico time
Living on Tico time (ok, you said that already)
I know we had a date
but I’m a couple hours late
Living on Tico time (This ain’t our first rodeo Ben Jammin but a solid warning for the noobs and worth repeating)
I used to be oh so punctual
I took great pride in that (I think I see where this is leading)
But now I see it is optional
I think I’ll go take a nap (Jesus Christ. Did Dr. Seuss write this lyric?)
Although more than one Tico has probably tossed an empty beer bottle at Ben Jammin for talking smack I like to think that the take away message here is a positive one. Don’t get mad, adapt. There is no reason to get all worked up like the pope did recently when President Luis Guillermo Solis showed up twenty-minutes late to a scheduled meeting with the Vatican.
Just assume that the Tico will probably be late and plan your day accordingly. We recommend taking the extra time to catch up on stories at The CR Post or if you can steal the neighbors wifi using it to download these Smartphone Apps to make your life in Costa Rica easier.
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