Top 13 Reasons to get a Stupid “Pura Vida” Tattoo

Tattoos, like the reasons people get them, are generally bad; and the cultural appropriation of phrases like “Pura Vida” by pasty skinned white-folk are no exception.

In an effort to save a few Gringos from making the same mistakes as some of the idiot Gringos that came before them, we present the Top 13 Reasons to get a stupid Pura Vida Tattoo:

#13 Because you hate animals

#12 To avoid finding a job

#11 Because you fell in love with a surf instructor in Tamarindo that one summer

#10 Because you are a slut

#9 Because you hate your skin

#8 Because Sloths Don’t Care About Gender Labels

#7 To be read while you are begging for money since that TEFL gig went south

#6 Because you are a huge douchenozzle

#5 Because you love cocks

#4 Because the Devil made you

#5 Because it beats cleaning your fingernails

#4 Because you don’t speak Spanish

#3 Because your an insufferable jerk

#2 Because you cant afford a tattoo artist

#1 To to commemerate the first time you Murdered a Prostitute