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Tattoos, like the reasons people get them, are generally bad; and the cultural appropriation of phrases like “Pura Vida” by pasty skinned white-folk are no exception.
In an effort to save a few Gringos from making the same mistakes as some of the idiot Gringos that came before them, we present the Top 13 Reasons to get a stupid Pura Vida Tattoo:
#13 Because you hate animals
#12 To avoid finding a job
#11 Because you fell in love with a surf instructor in Tamarindo that one summer
#10 Because you are a slut
#9 Because you hate your skin
#8 Because Sloths Don’t Care About Gender Labels
#7 To be read while you are begging for money since that TEFL gig went south
#6 Because you are a huge douchenozzle
#5 Because you love cocks
#4 Because the Devil made you
#5 Because it beats cleaning your fingernails
#4 Because you don’t speak Spanish
#3 Because your an insufferable jerk
#2 Because you cant afford a tattoo artist
#1 To to commemerate the first time you Murdered a Prostitute
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